I’m coming to the end of this open-water season with mixed feelings. It was very different from usual: I barely saw the summer go by, and there wasn’t enough time for everything—training, races, conversations, and time with my partner. But whenever I could be there, it was intense.
My perspective on swimming changed a lot over the three seasons I competed on the national circuit. I finished in third place in every one—but the feelings were never quite the same.
There was a fear that used to take over me before I got in the water. It was always the same feeling: Why did I get myself into this? What am I doing here? Why am I still doing this? Will I make it to the finish?
Over time, I moved on from that mindset to a simple: “Okay, just get in and swim… I’ll worry about the time afterward.” The butterflies and nerves were still there, but in a different way. Even when my mind tried to play tricks on me, my body already knew what to do and didn’t pay much attention to those thoughts. But they were always there.
I can’t even remember the last race I finished saying I didn’t enjoy it, didn’t feel good, or found it really difficult. Swimming simply became “swimming.” My body knows what to do. My mind understands what it means.
If the current isn’t in my favor, if the wind gets in the way, if the waves make it hard to breathe, if I can’t see the buoy, if there are too many people jostling in the pack, or even if my mind starts to wander… none of it paralyzes me anymore. Swimming has gone from a state of extreme alert to a physical and mental flow state.
I stopped trying to control everything around me. I stopped being hyperaware of every person or marine animal nearby, constantly thinking about what I’d do if something happened. I began to enjoy the marine life, stay calm when the unexpected happened, and understand that if I just let go, everything falls into place.
These three open-water seasons taught me that “high performance,” in our minds, isn’t about controlling every stroke, getting every breath just right, or navigating flawlessly. It’s about finding your place in the sea, accepting what’s out of sync, and adjusting on the next stroke.
I’m closing out this season with more than just a place in the standings. I know now that the water is no longer a battleground for my doubts, but a place of peace. It’s not about tuning out what’s happening around me; it’s about knowing I’m capable, staying connected, and doing what I know how to do: simply “swim”—because whatever happens, my body knows the way.
I didn’t get any faster, and I didn’t get in the water to chase times. This season was about pushing through and helping my mind find its place. It was a season of resilience. Now it’s time to take the next step and set new challenges…
Mayra Gabriela